* Be the person they fell in love with!
Remember that new fling feeling? Capture that! You don’t need to be a giggling teenager all of the time, but try and remember how awesome you were when you first met!
I know you may not have that body anymore, don’t dwell on the superficial things. You can be sexy at any size. It’s all attitude! Great Amy Schumer Movie!
Even though life gets in the way, try not to forget how much fun you had together. Keep that feeling alive!
*Don’t turn into their mother!
Yes, sometimes your spouse or partner needs to be nurtured, or reminded to please pick up their socks. However, you do not need to nag and complain about how many times you had to bend over to pick them up, even though the hamper is right there! 😉
Try and let those things go! They don’t want to listen to it, and most of the time it goes in one ear and out the other. You can usually see a wall go up in their eyes when they are sick of hearing something. That wall is tuning you out!
Don’t forget to thank them for everything they do. Look at all of the little things they do for you or your family. Be grateful every moment that they work hard, cook dinner, pick up the kids, do a load of laundry, do the dishes etc…
Don’t bring up the nagging facts that can eat away at you. The silly petty things like the vegetable peeler in the wrong drawer, the white sock in the load of darks, the towels that aren’t folded the way you do it etc…
Be thankful that they are taking care of things to lighten your load.
*Keep it Steamy!
My husband and I are in awe of our sex life! We are still very happy in this area, even after 24 years! Oh yes, when the kids were little, I believe there were times that I was totally exhausted and fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.
Don’t get me wrong, you will have some of those times. Buy something sexy to wear, put on a love song playlist, or light some candles. No, not every time, but definitely once in awhile to spice it up. A hot oil massage works wonders!
Make it a priority to take care of their needs! (Psst, and he will want to take care of yours)
*Find Time For a Date!
Guilty as charged! My husband and I haven’t been on a date in awhile. I’m definitely feeling the effects of this. Even a shopping trip and lunch counts as a date if it’s just the two of you.
Spend some time talking to each other in the car and just enjoy each other’s company. One on one time without interruptions is so important for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Talk! and Listen!!
Talk about your day, your concerns about the kids, the house, bills, your feelings or anything you want, just talk! Don’t forget to listen too! Actually listen!!
Sometimes when they are droning on about that one coworker that does everything wrong, you find yourself tuning out, stop doing that!! Listen! It’s important to them so try and have some empathy for what they go through on a daily basis.
The more you talk and in turn, listen, the closer you become!
Another thing I have been guilty of! I have really been focusing on making sure I set down my phone when my husband approaches. He’s coming to me for whatever reason, I need to stop and make sure I am focusing on him, not my phone.
I’m definitely getting better at this one. I know we are all guilty of this in society! It’s really sad that we are so focused on something silly on our devices, that we ignore the flesh and blood people that are important to us!
*Help with Their Workload!
You know how you have this ‘Honey-Do’ list? Well guess what? You can actually help them with that project! Pick up a hammer and smash that, I mean help fix that window!
Help haul a load of firewood, help build that back step, help build that dog kennel, or in my case, fence in that goat pen! Let them know that you are in this together! Show them you are a team!
Be grateful for everything they do! Not so you can get help in return, just because! This is part of showing love!
*Encourage, Not Criticize!
Focus on your partner’s strengths! Don’t make fun of them or call them names! I know many young relationships that fail because they think they are just joking around, and their words are actually hurting their partner!
I remember having a short-lived relationship in high school like this. In retrospect, I realized that we acted like siblings most of the time! When you are constantly picking on each other, it gets old real fast!
Nothing wrong with joking around! It was one of the things my husband loved about me from the beginning, but you need to make sure it’s the right kind of joking around.
*Send Love Notes!
I know this falls into the keep it steamy category, but I felt this needed to be said. Use that cell phone during the day as a prelude of what you might do this evening. Call it sexting, or whatever you want, but you are in a grown-up relationship and you can handle it!
Let them know you are thinking about them. Tell them what you love about them. Or what you want to do to them. Sometimes it seems corny to say these things out loud, so use that technology to your advantage.
A wonderful relationship strengthening book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
A couple of amazing steamy romances to read are Fighting Temptation by KC Lynn and Because You’re Mine by K Langston
*This article contains affiliate links. If you click on the links, you will be redirected to the product on Amazon. I earn a small commission if you purchase through my link. Thank you! Also, I am not a relationship expert! Unless you consider the 27 years I have been with the same wonderful man!